I was an early bloomer… tall for my age, bad skin, hair in *all* the places... you can imagine how easy that was on a 10 year old girl. And yet, with all of the pleasures of early puberty, I remained (as a Judy Blume book would put it) "flat as a board." For years I waited in vain for my chest to grow but my nagging suspicion turned out to be true: the barely-there A cups of my youth were in fact, well, me.
I became an expert at the art of camouflage; dressed strategically, my bony sternum could pass for cleavage. I wore bras not for support, but to give me some kind of figure under my baggy flannel shirts (it was the 90s!). I tried every trendy bra trick out there - the miracle bra, the water bra, contouring makeup, silicone bra inserts, foam bra inserts (which one time floated out of my bikini at a pool party… a mortifying teenage moment I still relive in horror to this day!)
It would be years until I got up the courage to go to second base; I was plagued with fear of being "found out" as flat chested. Post-college, a new boyfriend once looked at me and said, “sooo, that’s the *A* size, right?” Needless to say that relationship didn’t last long.
A braless moment in Tulum
When I got pregnant, I was excited at the prospect of finally growing breasts. But even then, as my boobs just started filling out my A cup bras, they remained undoubtedly small.
And then… three days after giving birth, it happened. Suddenly, my chest was huge! OK, objectively they were not actually huge - in fact I couldn’t find nursing bras small enough, but for me, that C cup felt gigantic.
I admit, they were fun. I stared at the them in the mirror (a lot). My husband certainly didn’t mind them. :) But ultimately, as with most things we find ourselves envying in life, those C cups were not all they were cracked up to be. They felt heavy. They touched the insides of my arms in a funny way. Sleeping on my stomach became uncomfortable. But more than anything they just weren’t me.
Now, 11 months later, my breastfeeding days are starting to wane and my breasts are deflating back to their original size. But my feeling about these old familiar friends is different now. Becoming a mother has given me a whole new perspective and appreciation for my body -- these boobs have fed a baby! What could be more amazing than that!? What I lack in breasts I make up for with a graceful décolletage. I can wear backless tops and dresses without worry, can go for a jog without a sports bra, can sleep on my stomach comfortably again... And now, one baby girl later, I still have pretty much the same set of tatas as I did in high school. I doubt I’d be saying that if I had the C cup of my teenage dreams, so thank you girls.
Ladies, whatever your size, show off your girls with pride! We are all beautiful.
xoxo, Stephanie