I’ve been waiting on writing this blog for so long because I want to honor this woman and her message as best I can. Miss "S" here is yet another reminder of why I chose Boudoir Photography as my career path. She came to me to celebrate her 35th birthday, which I LOVE. Her shoot was easy, breezy, and effortless (well, more effortless for me than for her...she had to do a lot of back arching and even some handstands!) But given her INSANE fitness level (thank you, Cross Fit) she KILLED it the entire time and was an absolute GODDESS in front of the lens. She even had this badass “Perfectly Imperfect” tank made for her shoot as a reminder for herself (how much do you love that??)
But you may not have known all this just from talking to her. You see. I have a very strict “no negative self-talk” rule when we are on set together. Our Brooklyn Boudoir shoot is meant to be a time to CELEBRATE yourself exactly as you are - for you, as much as for anyone else, not for picking yourself apart.
But this wasn’t so easy for Ms. S, in spite of her incredible fitness, gorgeous skin and winning smile. Which frankly, breaks my heart. Life is short, ladies. So often I look back on photos of myself, remembering how I didn’t feel “camera-ready” or attractive that day and being shocked at how good I actually looked … followed by feeling so SAD that I wasted any time at all even worrying about how I looked at the time. We are so much more than how we look, and it is truly a waste of our time and energy feeling anything but positive living in our own skin. How many of us can’t simply say “Thank you” when given a compliment?? It’s a small but important step to giving yourself a break and being kind to yourself - something we women need to remember to do WAY more often. I find that no matter what our different backgrounds and stories might be, it’s something we all struggle with.
Of course, this is easier said than done. I don’t LOVE everything about my body ALL the time. I have days when I feel uncomfortable with myself. But this is where the courage sets in to take a breath and be kind to myself - to remember that our worth is based on much more than our looks, that our beauty is inside AND out, and that we are allies to our bodies, not enemies.
My mission is to help women follow through on appreciating themselves and their bodies. It’s a decision we need to make every day. We need to have faith in our body because our body shows up for us. So when Ms. S wrote to me after her session, her words about her experience really resonated with me and nearly brought me to tears.
I'm going to stop blabbering because this client's words say more than enough...oh...and then there's the photos!
In her own, very touching words:
Most days I look in the mirror and criticize every feature of my face - my big nose, my tiny lips, my weird chin; obsess over my body - my butt is too small, my boobs are too small, I’m too muscular, I’m not muscular enough, I’m too skinny...I’m just not attractive...
It’s taken me a long time, 35 years to be exact, to learn to love myself, imperfections and all. While it may sound silly to some, this photo shoot experience has given me such a great sense of empowerment, confidence, and strength. Whenever I am feeling down I simply recall the amazingly fun photo shoot and look at the beautiful photographs and my spirits are instantly lifted. I’ve been having a rough few years in life - lacking self love, self acceptance, struggling to recognize my worth, my internal and external beauty, not valuing the person I am inside and out. Will a photo shoot and beautiful photos solve that, maybe not entirely, but it will always serve as a reminder that I am beautiful, I am fun, I am sexy, I am amazing, I am strong, I am a BADASS. And I thank you, THANK YOU for giving me one of the most amazing experiences of my life at a time I truly needed my spirit to be uplifted. I am forever grateful.
^^^^THIS. THIS is what it is all about. Let this be encouragement for other women who maybe don't ever like photos of themselves. For the women who deem themselves "not photogenic". For the women who need a daily reminder to honor themselves.
So thank you, beautiful, powerful, badass Ms. S, for letting me prove to you that you ARE, in fact, photogenic, sexy, perfectly imperfect and simply AMAZING. I'm overjoyed that I was able to provide her with the experience she needed, on top of an amazing collection of photographs, so she can treasure 35 forever.