Stella, one week old. Photo Credit: Melissa Banigan Photography
Motherhood. It’s such a loaded topic, with so many complicated feelings surrounding it. With mothers day yesterday, and having just gotten back from Paris with my mother & daughter, it’s topic that’s been on my mind a lot recently.
It’s impossible to know what it means to be a mother until you actually become one. We may all be at different stages and phases at different times, but we can find common ground in these (mostly) universal experiences. Learning to love yourself after you've birthed a human is no easy feat. Some of us hold on to 40lbs for what seems like a lifetime. Some of us bounce right back and have to deal with all the other moms side-eyeing us even though we still have mom insecurities, too. Some of us develop crazy hormonal mental problems and can't see anything but our flaws. While being a mother can be amazing it’s so easy to get lost in the chaos of it and forget the person that we were, before we gave birth to the person we’re often holding.
There are days when you look in the mirror at yourself, nights when you look at your husband, and moments when you squeeze your child that you wonder if you have anything left to give. As women we are usually MUCH too hard on ourselves. Try not to lose sight of yourself and the things that make YOU happy. Don’t let yourself disappear. Seek balance, not perfection. Your family is happy and healthy, everyone’s hearts and bellies are full each day, and that’s all that will ever matter. Slow down and enjoy the laughter — the way you did before you had any care in the world.
Sometimes we need to look back and reconnect with who we were, our goals, our likes and dislikes, and merge that with the mother we are today. It’s OK to be tired and it’s OK to slow down, but it’s also OK to have fun. I know that those late nights out partying have transitioned into binge-watching Netflix with your husband after finally getting homework done with your kid. There is nothing wrong with change and loving each moment the way you did before. Embrace the change and let it wash over you.
One of my favorite pictures of my mom, my little brother and myself. Says it all really.
About half of my Brooklyn Boudoir clients are mothers, and at this point most of my friends and loved ones are mothers, so I can safely say that wherever you are in your journey: motherhood looks good on you. Motherhood works for you. You may not know it right now, but trust that it’s true. The miracle happens when you have see yourself looking incredible for the first time after having a baby. You NEED to know that you've still got it...and that motherhood hasn't stripped you of your womanhood.
Because it hasn't.
You're still a woman. You’re still you. You're still gorgeous...sexy even. Trust me, and when you’re ready, let me show you.
xoxo, Stephanie
Three generations in Paris last week. Photo Credit: @_parispics_