I have a new alarm clock. It’s a 2 year who wakes up at 6:35am on the dot every day without fail saying, “Mama come in… come in Mama…please Mama, come IN” at regular intervals, gaining volume for 30 minutes straight until I come to terms with the fact that there is no such thing as a snooze button anymore. (my husband is somehow blissfully and annoyingly unaware of this new alarm clock).
And so the day begins, hoping I remembered to set the coffee machine to start the night before, getting the babe changed, fed, dressed, and out the door in time, trying to put my own self together without her getting at my makeup, answering my husbands 10 million questions about the day (including what the weather will be, as if he has no other way of finding out...) and suddenly it’s 9a and I am (already!) worn out. There’s nothing like running around town with a top knot (and not the fashion-week kind) and a purse filled with raisins to help us forget that we are intelligent, indepndant and desirable women with layers, personality, and a life outside of school drop off.
For years I’ve been an avid reader of Brooklyn Blogger Joanna Goddard, who recently joked about motherhood on her blog: “Everyone here wants to touch my boobs for different reasons, but kind of the same reason.” This rang SO TRUE for me. I think about it all the time and share it with all of my other mom friends, to which everyone busts out laughing, then turns inwards and nods quietly to themselves.
Being the center of everyone’s universe is a double-edged sword: on one hand it's so sweet & flattering, truly the greatest blessing, AND ALSO it's the most taxing, stressful, and exhausting experience. If you hope to survive it, not to mention find joy in it, then you need to care for yourself.
After drop off, a full day of work, deadlines that never end, pick up, dinner, baths, story times, and then back to the computer for more work that I could not finish in my work day, I am often too tired to do anything for me, other than put on my pj’s and go to sleep, knowing that tomorrow will be a similar grind. I found myself taking absurdly long showers just to get “5 more minutes” (my daughter’s current favorite negotiating phrase) to myself. And then I realzied — this is crazy! I shouldn’t have to hide in the bathroom to allow myself some ME time! And I resolved to start making more time on the regular to look after MYSELF with the same care I look after my daughter & husband.
We moms share so much in common. Yes, you are a caregiver but you are also fierce, you are proud, you are resilient. You’ve brought life into this world and most likely struggled to do so (even with the stongest epidural) and there is NOTHING more amazing than that. We love and care for our children, sacrifice our time, energy and money for our families, and too often put ourselves last — especially when prioritizing personal wants, needs, and desires. There’s only so much we have to give and we shouldn’t forget to give to ourselves.
It’s not like I’m disappearing for hours on end, or partying into the night. Sometimes it’s as simple as taking a walk around the block by myself to listen to a podcast, an afternoon having a glass of wine with a friend I never get to see anymore (because she is probably also a mom in the same boat) or shutting myself in the bedroom to reading a book (read: trashy magazine) for an hour.
It doesn’t always come easy. I still worry if my daughter will feel abandoned, or end up at school with 2 different shoes on her feet because I tasked my husband to get her dressed in the morning. But the truth is, EVERYONE in our house is better off when I feel like myself, as opposed to a strung-out, harried juggler. Even a small amount of time helps revitalize and enrgize me. I find myself appreciating my daughter and husband more, smiling more, being more productive at work, feeling more satisfied with life in general and even wanting to have sex to more!
Well ladies, I encourage you — hell, I CHALLENGE you — to resolve to honor yourself: that beautiful, seductive, alluring, phenomenal woman you know you are. There are big ways and small ways to do this. I’ll tell you, one fantastic way to do this is by treating yourself to a boudoir session. Boudoir is a classy, elegant way to show off your sexier side and celebrate the beauty of YOU!
At Brooklyn Boudoir I love taking beautiful portraits of women. But that’s only part of it. The other, equally important thing that I give my clients is a few hours that’s just for them. You get to feel beuatiful, have a glass of wine and enjoy the feelings of freedom and womanhood. You get pampered. You'll walk away with a pep in your step that maybe you haven’t felt for awhile. Fast forward 2 weeks to your reveal when you get to see your photos for the first time… I have had women cry seeing them because they can’t beleive the woman in the photos is them. Because the photos show them that they ARE still beautiful, and yes, also sexy. That they ARE a sensual person, a feminine powerhouse, AND ALSO a boss/wife/mom. YOU CAN BE ALL THOSE THINGS! For the first time in maybe a long time they see themseves the way they used to and begin to feel that *spark* again. They are energized and proud, and after we hug goodbye, I see my clients walk away with a new twinkle in their eye.
And THEN, on top of it all, you get to hold on to those images in an album or a piece of wall art to remind you of who you are when you need it. Trust me: there isn’t anything like seeing a portrait of yourself looking and feeling your very best to inspire even the most tired women.
Ladies — it’s still in there. When you take care of yoruself, you start to remember who you really are at your core, and you can be a better caretaker for others. You’ll be more present with your kids, feel warmer towards your partner, smile more to the other parents and pickup. And when you FEEL good, you really do look your best.
So Happy Mother’s Day to all the hard working, strong, badass mothers out there. You are doing great. And you deserve to be pampered, not just on mother’s day, but every day.
xoxo, Stephanie
Ready to pamper yourself a bit? Contact me and let's schedule your boudoir session!
Photo Credits: Keturah Davis Photography